Parenthood & Marriages - love/arranged*

             They are seen many as business deals that have very little to do with love.  Yeah! I’m just talking about love marriage and arranged marriage.  Do you know the main problem? Of-course you know, its ‘love’.  I’ve seen many people mad in love, even I know few couples very personally and there is nothing shocking you can see many around us just like a hula-hoop.  People have their own reasons for getting married with their loved ones.  I have experienced, many of them fall for beauty and that is too easy to fall, you may fall in love with the beauty of someone but remember; finally you have to live with character, not beauty.

People often talk about love but I want to ask a question that what is love? How do you feel? From where you came to know about it? Any guess?

             The parents – As much I know and I concerned in this I’ll say that we started feeling love through our parents.  Parents play a very crucial role in our life you know that very well, so no explanation.  They try to bring us up with good knowledge and behaviour and all good stuff.  And that why they expect something from us, it can be trust, the honesty, following do’s and don’ts according to them.  So my point is here if they are doing everything for us then why do we go for love marriage? Why nowadays people think that arrange marriages are not good? I never got this walking through my whole life.  I feel love marriages are more risky than the arrange one and also not secure like arrange.  Pardon me if I’m wrong or it annoys you but the truth is that you may feel that loving someone and getting married with them will be good for future but it’s not so.  If you dig-up the history you will get to know that love marriages get divorced very soon and often more than arranged one.

                Parents have seen many marriages and know what will be good for the child and that is why they focus on the low hanging-fruits.  It really annoys me to see when parents are ignored in such cases.  There is a conscious attempt to match the two families as well as the bride and groom on the parameters of social status, background, financial strength and many more similar lifestyles.  That is the cool-headed decision to increase the likelihood of the marriage succeeding and that is why it becomes long lasting. 

              I’m not against of love marriages or I’m not targeting here ‘em as bad but I want to know why they can’t follow their parents.  Love is the real pain in the butt and heart and hate to see this happening around.  You may be accepted by your parents in love marriage but they won’t be happy from heart that is the real pain in heart.  You will get each and every support from your parents if you are arranged, it may be your financial crisis or in sickness anything.

              A well famous quote "My doctors told me I would never walk again. My mother told me I would. I believed my mother." Wilma Rudolph.  So that is what I feel parents love is eternal, powerful and that is why we should always love them instead of jumping out and making them to feel bad. You know what I mean here.

           Whenever my parents asked me- What kind of girl do you want? The ultimate answer comes all the way from my heart is –“Whoever you chose”, I reply with a shrug after all well brought-up boy ;).  If someone says me to get a gf, you should see my reaction it’s like 404 File not found.  Plussification to this will say if the parents are not good according to you then also you should not go for hunting out for love.  First of all love yourself and your parents and follow them, I’m damn sure you will never ever feel struck/puck thoughts.  Some people may think that I’m writing this because my parents are good or I’ve been in a good environment but the truth is that everyone can do that. 

If not now somewhere along the road you will feel about it and you won’t have the time to regret also, that is what I feel.

I’ve just posted my views so don’t take it personally anyone and sorry if I sound alien in modern “love-world”.

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Lover's = Sleepwalker's ;)

Can we avoid unnecessary arising love thoughts or attraction towards someone?

       I guess it is impossible to know a thought before it comes in the mind.  You know them as they come, and if they are stupid, you will simply laugh at them and they will move away.  But I personally think that if your inner faculties are strong, you will let go of the stupid thoughts of love and all, and not act on it.  Thoughts arrive anyway.  But you choose to act or not act – through awareness.

       Attraction towards opposite sex is nothing but kind of mandatory thing.  People find themselves helpless when they see an opposite sex.  But here would like to throw an example that is – A sleepwalker has no control over where he is or what he is doing.  He simply walks. Today, mostly everyone is a sleepwalker; few act out of awareness.  So don’t push yourself in that category.  Be alert and aware of things.  You should know that we act on the strongest impulse.  If you are aware and acting, that is the right action.

      This attraction and arising love thoughts in your minds gives you endless joy.  Forgive me if I’m wrong but I’ve observed that most people think the joy they feel is in the object, is it so? That’s why they assume that an opposite sex is the object of their joy.  But I think joy is in their senses.  Joy is in the capacity to relate the object with the self.  And the peak of any sensory or sensual experience takes you inwards. If you look at a beautiful scenery or girl/boy you say “Wow!” and you close your eyes immediately.  That’s how you react at moments.  Having control over senses will not lead you to regret peak.  Each of the senses leads you to a point deep inside you that is the fountain of joy.

        The joy from touch, sex, sight, music, smell or taste comes from a source deep within.  And if you don’t move within to that point, joy is short-lived. And if you are just clinging to the external object, it no more gives you joy or pleasure.  People are not joyful, they are the opposite – they are miserable. 

       I must say this world is a beautiful package.  The world is not so bad.  It is gift-wrapped.  But if you are stuck with the wrapping paper, you will not even open it.  You won’t see the gift inside the package that has been given to you.  That is what most people do – hold on to the wrapper outside.  Last few lines as a request to you people is that have control over your senses and act only on those thoughts which you will find beneficial.  Don’t go mad over a love story.  Don’t roam around in seek of your story.  It just happens, so just wait for your turn till then do not let unnecessary thought get over you.

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